We gotta get out of this place … if it’s the last thing we ever do
IT seems there’s not a day passes but the news gets worse, and our politicians are making it that way.
Successive Tory prime ministers are doing nothing to improve this Disunited Kingdom – Major was the Grey Man, Cameron was hopeless, May was hapless, Johnson was a Billy Bunter figure full of his own self-importance, a penchant for gaffes, a constant smirk on a face you’d never tire of slapping, and an inveterate liar.
And now of curse we have Liz Truss.
Sandwiched between them all are Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, but their tenure was almost as bad as that of the Tories (some might say worse).
But Johnson is also as crooked a politician as I’ve ever seen.
What he has left in his wake has made UK even more of a global laughing stock than it was. Whereas Johnson tried to be sleekit
about actions that were of benefit to his City pals, including those from his chancellor Rishi Sunak, Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng are quite open about it.
The largesse delivered by Kwarteng is destined only to be of benefit to the wealthy and super-rich.
I find myself wondering if either of them knows what a food bank is, and that more and more working people are being forced to use them.
It’s unthinkable that they have scrapped the limit on bankers’ bonuses (bear in mind the financial crash of 2008) and no doubt we’ll be seeing them regularly quaffing bottles of Champagne as they celebrate their seven-figure pay days.
A friend of mine who has the good sense to be a resident of another European country, puts it thus: “Assume you have traded all your pounds for groats, Cadbury creme eggs, camels or even nigerian nairas.
“Kwasimodo Kwartermaster in charge of the economy is like letting an evil devilchild humpback ring the church bells at Christmas.
“Heard latest Tory economic strategy is they exhumed Harold Macmillan and found the notes in his back pocket: observe Keynesian economics (not Trussonomics), join the EEC, support a NHS, some nationalised industries and strong trade unions.
“Oh wait a f*%#ing minute, we just undid all that!”
Well said Mike.
Cost of living crisis a ‘looming catastrophe’ as beanz meanz parting with £1 a tin
It’s been a while, but I’ve been completely scunnered by the worsening state of the UK as a handful of the population decides on their replacement for what is beyond a doubt the worst prime minister in living memory.
However, I don’t intend to dwell on my contempt for the Tories. They will – eventually – get what they deserve.
I will say I was disappointed, disgusted even, with Ian Blackford the other day drooling in an interview about how he loves the ‘cut and thrust’ of Westminster – this coming from someone who has told me umpteen times how he and the other SNP MPs were desperate to get out of “that place”. In response I told him that the SNP MPs had become too settled in the Commons, which he fervently denied. Just thought I’d mention that.
Over the past few years I’ve written a fair bit about a New Scot I’ve had a fair amount of contact with – Mark Frankland, who runs the First Base Food Bank in Dumfries, as well as being a published author.
He told me earlier this week that the cost of living crisis and social emergency is set to worsen as supermarkets ration the amount of groceries food projects can buy or are given in donations, and he’s urging Holyrood to step up to the plate.
The coming winter is a “looming catastrophe”, unlike anything we have seen “since Hitler was strutting his stuff”, he says.
And in an open letter to the Scottish Government he urged them to meet the challenge in the same way as they did in March 2020, “when the pandemic threatened to tear apart the social fabric much like it is doing in China right now”.
Frankland says the Scottish Government made quick and decisive decisions then, like making funds available for front line charities to meet the needs of self-isolating communities, and made the cash available quickly with the minimum of red tape.
“And it worked … better than anyone could possibly have imagined,” he says. “All over Scotland, new community projects joined with existing projects like First Base and by hook or by crook, the vulnerable were looked after.
“We all proved it could be done and it was done. It was done in double quick time and it was done unbelievably well. And it was done by an army of volunteers.
“You guys provided the funding and the community did the rest.”
Frankland says that in his “60+ years” he has witnessed two huge “£1 a … moments” – when he was 18 during the 1979 winter of discontent when petrol increased to £1 a gallon.
“Eighteen years later, an older and still broke me got to know how it felt to pay £1 a litre for the first time. This summer I had my third ‘pound a …’ moment.
“I was online in Tesco Groceries ordering the weekly First Base delivery and there it was right there on the screen. As bold as brass. Heinz Baked Beans. Not 440g any more. Only 415g now. £1 a tin.
“Quite a moment. And it seemed clear neither Heinz nor Tesco were in any mood to water it down. I mean they could have bottled it and gone for 99p. But no. They clearly were intent on sending a message.”
Frankland says that by autumn, anyone relying on Universal Credit with the average cost of domestic power forecasts to reach £70 a week will be left with £3 to feed, clothe and clean themselves.
He says projects such as Fareshare, which helps supply food banks, will suffer as supermarkets ration what charities can buy and increase sales of reduced “yellow ticket” items, for which people have started queuing up every night.
But he says the network of volunteers that exploded into life early in the pandemic is still there.
“We all know how to deal with a huge crisis. We proved we could do it in 2020. We can do it again.
“As a legacy of the pandemic, every council in Scotland now has a relationship with the community groups who stepped up when everything was grinding to a halt … provided us with the funds we needed in the pandemic. You can do it again.”
In a plea to the Scottish Government, he adds: “And you guys? Well, you need to do exactly the same job you did in 2020. You need to make sure no emergency food project ever has to turn people away due to a lack of food.
“It didn’t happen when 2000 people a day were dying of Covid in the darkest days of 2020.
It doesn’t need to happen in the darkest days of the coming winter. You have two months to … be ready for the worst.
“And when the tsunami hits, you can be ready to press the button and the community will do the rest. Please don’t blow it.”
You can read more of Mark’s blog here: http://marksimonfrankland.blogspot.com/
Still working, but …
Have you noticed there are never enough hours in the day?
I’m sure I could draw up a long list of things I could have done with them, but then again I would probably have been distracted by something – my latest new guitar perhaps; the urge to drive for a couple of hundred miles for a night away and a long cool beer in a strange pub; or taking to the hills, maybe bagging another couple of Munros.
No worry – I’ll get round to all those things when I have time and a half-decent weather forecast.
As it was we did have a very pleasant holiday in the Canaries – Fuerteventura to be precise – just relaxing, walking around the island’s beaches and towns, eating nice food, chatting with some very pleasant people and sampling the odd beer or bottle of wine.
It was our first holiday in a long time – thanks to Covid – and it gave me the opportunity to look at Britain and consider what people thought about what is happening here.
Of course when you arrive on a UK flight you are automatically labelled a Brit, until you tell people you are actually a Scot. Then, as conversation develops with the odd remark about Brexit, they can’t understand why we are no longer in the EU when we voted to remain.
Then you name the culprit, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, our scheming, conniving, lying and mendacious prime minister
who has turned these isles into a world laughing stock. He is the only man who is more Trumpian than The Donald himself.
It’s not only Johnson of course, but the overprivileged and loathsome Eton and Oxford educated coterie that inhabit the corridors of power with him.
Tempting though it is, I’m not going to waste my words with a diatribe against such enemies of the state. Their time will come, sooner rather than later.
But shortly after returning from holiday I met and spent some time with a sibling I never knew I had – a sister who has made her life in Canada. Shock doesn’t begin to express my initial reaction, but we spent a very pleasant day discussing familial affairs – quite literally as it turned out.
For the past few of days I have thought of little else. But there is more – a cousin (?) – of mine who lives down under and who has been engaged in some very impressive research into our family history, which is quite stunning.
One day when I’ve made sense of it all, I might put fingers to keyboard, but I’m still trying to digest it all and I’m in need of a nightcap.
Until the next time – pip pip.
Never enough time
It’s been a while yes, but there’s been a lot going on. I’ve started a new job and just haven’t had enough time to update the blog. This is just a holding piece until I improve my time management skills.
A parting thought though, I am not surprised at the local election results or Boris Johnson clinging on desperately as he tries to salvage his political future.
Back soon!
Return of The House of Cards?
A BROKEN UK, a broken, blatantly corrupt and inept government lurching from one crisis to another as their leader clings on to power by his fingernails as his aides form a not-so-orderly queue to flee Downing Street.
You really couldn’t make it up – or could you?
It got me thinking about how the original Spitting Image caused something of a stir and much merriment when it lampooned the leading politicians of the day – and before that the success of Yes Minister and its successor Yes Prime Minister.
The original saw James Hacker, played by Paul Eddington, propelled through the corridors of power to the post of Cabinet Minister for the Department of Administration, where his overwhelming desire to reform it was frustrated by his civil servants Bernard Wooley (the late Derek Fowlds) and his boss Sir Humphrey Appleby (Sir Nigel Hawthorne).
Despite them, Hacker found himself thrust even further along those corridors to No 10 Downing Street in 1986 in Yes Prime Minister – which I thought was even better than the original.
It was a hilarious series which is still one of my favourites, and while very much a comedy it did shine a light into the secretive (and influential) workings of the civil service.
Fast-forward a few years and an altogether different drama, the magnificent House of Cards and its sequels, To Play the King and The Final Cut, from the Michael Dobbs novel. 
In this we were introduced to the Tories’ chief whip Francis Urquhart (note his initials FU), brilliantly played by the late Ian Richardson – a Machiavellian character whose darkly-delivered catchphrase “You might think that; I couldn’t possibly comment” even went on to be used in the House of Commons.
His asides, direct to the audience, were masterful and gave viewers an insight into the workings of his character’s ruthless mind.
The mini-series premiered against the backdrop of Margaret Thatcher’s final weeks, and it took little imagination to think that similar events were happening behind the scenes at Westminster as she was dumped as PM and John Major installed.
In the drama, Urquhart sets out to destroy everyone in his path to No 10’s top job after he is passed over for a Cabinet post when his candidate for PM wins the job.
There’s a lot more to it, but suffice to say it remains as pertinent today as it did more than 20 years ago.
These two mini-series were followed by The Thick of It, which premiered in 2005 and went on to run for four brilliant seasons, taking us through the everyday lives of incompetent politicians being guided by advisers, including Malcolm Tucker – played by the superb Peter Capaldi.
I have known political party media advisers who tried (unsuccessfully) to emulate Tucker, constantly butting into conversations where their presence wasn’t required, raising their voices, punctuating their sentences with swearwords and castigating everyone around them. It did them no good whatsoever.
Which brings me back to the broken UK and the desperate scrambling of Boris Johnson trying to save his own skin (because he cares about nobody else).
His latest Cabinet mini-shuffle sees Jacob Rees-Mogg – yes, the one who lives in another century – today ends his tenure as Leader of the Commons and is given a new post as minister for Brexit opportunities and responsibility for government efficiency in the Cabinet Office.
Former chief whip Mark Spencer becomes Lord President and replaces Rees-Mogg as Commons leader, while Chris Heaton-Harris leaves the Foreign Office to take up Spencer’s old job and former deputy chief whip Stuart Andrew becomes a housing minister – all of which is reminiscent of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
I’m laughing at the pathetic sight of them (and other expected later) wandering around, befuddled – not knowing exactly where they’re going or what their actual jobs will be, other than to shore up what remaining support their PM has.
Anybody sense a new parliamentary comedy coming on?
A walk in Helix Park
The Kelpies
SO we’re nearing the end of January and I must say it’s been an interesting start to the year – for me in any case – but more of that another.
To escape the constant barrage of revelations from Westminster, I took the opportunity of a decent spell of weekend weather to head up to the Helix in Falkirk, a very pleasant walk along the canal and an opportunity to see the Kelpies close up (again).
They never fail to delight me – I know simple things, etc – but among the hundreds of people who had decided to do the same thing, there was a huge number who were accompanied by their dogs.
I was brought up around dogs and I’ve had them at various points through my life, so it gave me a great deal of enjoyment to wander through the park happily speaking to and petting any of the animals that approached me.
Unsurprisingly, many of the owners confessed their pets were Covid dogs, bought at various stages of lockdown when families were confined to their homes. I know several of my neighbours did likewise, but I wonder what will happen to all these dogs when (and if) people start physically returning to their offices and other places of work.
We have all heard the Dogs Trust phrase that “A dog is for life, not just for Christmas” but should it now be altered to “… for life, not just for Covid”?
I don’t mean that in a flippant sense, but I fear that when the pandemic eventually passes, we’ll see countless canines being dropped off at animal charities and dog homes as their owners return to the dreaded commute.
Festive post
SO that was Christmas, and I, for one, am glad it has gone.
I’ve not really been a fan of the festive season for some time. One Christmas death in a family is bad enough, but the passing of two dearly loved ones within a few days of each other – even years apart – is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
It does make the years they spent as the primary influences on my life all the more precious, but it doesn’t lessen the hurt when Christmas comes around.
Now that it has come and gone though, we can turn our attention and hopes to the New Year and what that might herald.
It won’t be Scottish independence, that’s for sure, but perhaps a few steps down that road?
Covid is likely to cement its place as a permanent fixture worldwide and I wonder what further riches it will bring to members of the most corrupt Westminster government we’ve ever seen and their business friends.
Boris Johnson MUST go.
He has made the UK (and by association its constituent nations) a laughing stock around the world with his bumbling buffoonery, his lying inside and outside Parliament, his disregard for rules his government introduced – in short the complete clusterfuck he’s made of trying to run the country.
I quite enjoyed hearing my old friend Ian Blackford escape a reprimand from the Deputy Speaker when he called Johnson a “barefaced liar” – opening the gates for anyone else to do likewise, albeit within a very narrow context.
But labelling the clown a liar does nothing to prevent the Tories wreaking havoc on the lives of people who are not their friends – the people who are ‘governed’ by the devolved parliaments, those on low incomes, immigrants and asylum seekers, and of course our NHS and its dedicated workforce and other care workers.
Several times I’ve told Ian it appeared to Scottish voters that SNP MPs were becoming far too comfortable on the Westminster gravy train, and his answer is always the same – along the lines of “we’ll leave when our job is done … I can’t wait for the day when we walk out of that place for the last time”.
That could mean many things – including independence, shaking off the shackles of London and restoring full fiscal and legislative powers to the Scottish Parliament – who knows?
One thing I do know is that while many independence supporters are becoming increasingly impatient with the SNP’s lack of direction on the matter, others are simply giving up on it.
If the SNP really does want independence it has to embrace the whole indy movement, including grassroots supporters and Alex Salmond’s Alba Party – and not just the old apparatchiks who are propping up the pillars of SNP power.
Whether or not they do will impact on their own future as well as ours.
If I don’t post before 2022 I hope you have a great New Year and achieve all that you want.
Just for the hell of it here’s one of my favourite images of the beach at Durness on an autumn day that was much colder than it looks
YOU know what it’s like …
Waiting ages for a bus then four come along at once.
Well, I hadn’t had a broadcasting gig for a while and in the past week I’ve had two.
In the first, on John Drummond’s TNT (The Nation Talks) show, I was a late replacement for one of the best known members of Scotland’s legal establishment, Aamer Anwar, but I thought it was interesting, especially with the variety of questions coming from online viewers.
TNT is here:
The second was the following night at Civic House in Glasgow, where members of the Assemblea Nacional Catalana (ANC) hosted a meeting with their president Elisenda Paluzie.
ANC is the pro-independence grassroots group which has organised some of the memorably massive marches of recent years (pre-pandemic) in support of Catalan independence.
The group has a network of international brnaches, including one in London and another in Glasgow.
Ms Paluzie and I were joined there by broadcaster, journalist and author Chris Bambery, who has written a number of books, including A People’s History of Scotland, and Catalonia Reborn, which he co-wrote with George Kerevan.
The Catalan discussion is here:
Now it’s back to waiting for the next bus.
An early start
I tried getting up and out early this morning to catch the sun rising over the Cromarty Firth.
The temperature was 3C, the wind was blasting, bringing with it rain and sleet and a significant wind chill factor. I lasted around 90 minutes but the sunrise never came.
Strange the things we do on wee breaks.
This was the sunrise from Chanonry Point, in Fortrose
The lighthouse was more weatherproof than my wet weather clothing
Still here … but taking a break
Sunset at Key West – just the sort of escapism I need after 18 months of the Covid crisis and (some of) our politicians bearing more of a resemblance to cartoon characters that professional people. Much more to say about that later, but it’s beer o’clock at the weekend, so enjoy it.